|
[26 Apr 2007|08:05pm] |
eeeeeep scarification makes me feel sick
lets carve stuff into our skin.... gross
|
|
|
[13 Mar 2007|01:45pm] |
my life and i have conflicting shcedules and interests.
if i cant sleep, i cant breathe.
my heart is tired.
|
|
|
[18 Feb 2007|07:13pm] |
i like comming home for the weekend :) except when i swive off the road into a snowbank hahah
luckily i didnt hit anything. i had the scarriest dream of my life. my heart went nuts. and it was really weird .. i dont want to go into details becasue it actually just scared me so much i dont even want to discuss it but in my dream this person kept repeating the number 23 in a really sinister manner, and then later that day i was watching tv, and this movie preview comes on, and goes on to explain the siginificance of this number.. it has something to do with 666.. and then the eyes.. cat like and peircing... they were the eact same as in my dream.. i got chills. my dream just kinds of reinacted in my mind. eeeep
reading week soon !!! :) im sooooo excited heh
|
|
|
[14 Feb 2007|03:33pm] |
1.
we're rubbing elbows but never meeting. did i catch you in the corner of my eye? im tired of passing moments.. just waiting for things to hapen or work out. just keep smiling, becasue eventually this feeling is going to fade. you're happier now then you ever were.
2. 3.
charm around your neck. _____ hangs where your heart should, with all the others, you like to collect. some are ignorant to their surrounding. you crave attention. any attention. i can see it in the way you.. your vanity makes me sick.
4.
you never act how you feel. [how you say you feel.] how the fuck do you feel? do you even know? do you feel at all? sometimes? even a litte?
5. 5. 5. 5. 5.
all i want is sunshine.
|
|
|
[09 Feb 2007|02:39pm] |
|
vent. vent. vent. im quite seriously contemplating quiting my job. i asked for one bloody weekend off and the answer is no. fuck that. ONE weekend. is that so much to ask? so now i need to decide do i keep the job or go home for the weekend.. ugh sharon is really pushing my buttons lately too. she calls me and says she cant work it in to the schedual and she expects me to be there saturday if i want to keep my job. the reason she wants me to come in is because she dosnt have enough people to work so she is pretty much fucked if i quit too. just like a handfull of people have before me becasue of her. some people just dont learn.. apparently. i am not even going to let myself feel bad for leaving her in a spot of trouble. she deserves it. fully.
blehh
appart from that i am seriously so happy with my life right now. i dont even know why. things are just.. really good.
|
|
|
[03 Feb 2007|10:36pm] |
|
im sick of staring at the ground. im sick of not caring about anything. im sick of being so passive in life. i want to exist. i want to be known. have a voice. have a face. to the world. good things can come out dark, waiting for a bus, standing in the freezing cold. its funny how well you can get to know a stranger in 40 minutes.today, i met lilly. lilly likes to drink. she hates the cold. she eats sunflower seed. yesterday she lost ten dollars, which is alot when you're only make an average 140 bi weekly. she used to work at the jewlerystore downtown right beside milo's work. now she works at bluenotes. like me, she thinks dundas street is full of sketchbags. her shoes are one size too big. she bought her coat for $20 at blunotes. shes having a family dinner tonight but she dosnt live with her parents. she lives with an aunt and uncle. she wantst to become a youth and child worker. she never wants to be a teen mum. we both have close friends with kids. once she met a man on a bus with a guitar and he sang her a song. .. this is what i remember. meeting new people is the best part of my day. i dont think we stoped talking the whole bus ride. i am in love with being social. I hope i meet with lilly again, or athousand other lillies /lillys / lillyesque/ lillyness others. both waiting for our turn. our conversations could be endless. we have so much to share. we'll meet everywhere a million times over. over and over. our eyes will in some obscure place and the conversations continue again. meet. nice to meet you. you. you. you. goodnight. the end.
|
|
| stream of consciousness |
[02 Feb 2007|03:13pm] |
|
we talked aout how _____'s head might implode, how ______ might react, and how ____ is always too far. thursdays= intoxication. no one understands what im trying to say half the time. i cant even take anything in my life seriously anymore. i dont deal well with letdowns.. so its just not going to happen anymore. i feel like i keep meeting the same people over and over again. why does your face remind me of someone that ive already known? why do i keep running into you? one hour to sunrise and you're still wide eyed, no sign of backing down. why are you here, what were you thinking. another day, another regret. if you remember ยท remember? would you consider erasing my memory? my heart is ever dividing untill there is nothing left to give. i have no time to think about tomorrow. i hate wearing a watch. another sleepness night with anemia. you start to hear things you shouldnt, singing out of tune the words that stick in your mind. you want to sleep but those melodies wont leave you. they even haunt your dreams. wake up gasping for air. you start to forget whats real and what happened yesterday. i prefer being unsconcious anyway. no one to answer to but yourself. my eyes are red. red. your face is burned in the back of my mind and you like it that way. you live off lust and im a sucker for melodramatics. around you. tonight changes everything. you're so transparent you dissapear. you make me feel better and worse at the same, time and i dont even know what to think anymore. everything feels so out of context and i cant seem to make sense of your words you whisper in my ear. is my face turning red? missing beats and blushing cheeks. wrap your arms around me say goodnight. this ends here. follow your friends through the crowd, down a flight of stairs, into the cool night air. your hair is a mess and you chest feels like its been submerged thousands of miles bellow the surface of the vast and infinite ocean. this disconnection leaves you feeling like you're draging around this empty corpse, searching for something unattainable. your flesh melts and your bones break. you wonder endlesslty in thought, untill tomorrow when it all starts again. but when is tomorrow? to define the hour? i cannot. i linger in let downs and regret flatline melodies i want to forget. can i erase my life and start again? delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete
|
|
|
[29 Jan 2007|05:54pm] |
|
so im having a day of total bullocks already.. then i decide to go get groceries, have to wait 45 minutes for them at the pharmacy becasue they pretty much screw up everything everytime i go there,being as stupid as i am buy too many groceries to carry efficiently, my arms hurt before i even get out the doors, walk outside, fuck its cold...walk across parking lot.. and see my bus go by.... and im thinking FUCK...why??? WHY? one of those moments of total self pitty and just total awe of how much life can suck.
so then this couple pulls up.. "can we give you a ride somewhere?"
* dances inside-- THANK YOU!
thank you kind considerate strangers :D
im contemplating staying in london for the summer.. i really like it here. i most definitely need to find a better job then.. i love all the new people im meeting and the general atmosphere.
yay i get to see milo's band this thursday! .. even if it is on sketchy dundas street eeeepp
i got a new journal ask me about it if your interested in the link.. i havent decided if i want to make it friends only, and dissable comments or just not add any friends.. hmm im thinking probably the latter
|
|
|
[22 Jan 2007|08:04pm] |
|
the sadest day of the year___ who wants to celebrate?
|
|
|
[22 Jan 2007|07:43pm] |
|
sometimes when i get a cold and cough.. my mum appears hahah
|
|
|
[20 Jan 2007|12:59pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
postal service |
] |
You are a part of my heart, that i never want to lose.
If identity is continuity of memory, then i am mostly you.
though, we cant be together.. I keep no other closer.
|
|
|
[18 Jan 2007|07:57pm] |
my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love my love im bringing sexy elASTICS Back
eggggggggggs
i want a light saber
i am a forensic figure skater
me and felicia de solve a de cimes a
haaahah
im toasty
|
|
|
[14 Jan 2007|09:15pm] |
|
my street always smells like curry or laundry.
|
|
|
[09 Jan 2007|02:25pm] |
|
I hope for. One shining, brilliant moment, floating in space. I . dissapointment in the bitter cold. a quiet death. this wind is harsh.
|
|
|
[07 Jan 2007|05:39pm] |
|
i like stupid music again.. haha
|
|
|
[07 Jan 2007|05:29pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
alkaline trio |
] |
i went skating for the first time in years today.
how i miss you.
dressing like a bum.
not caring about scrapes and bruises.
beautiful concrete.
glide.
sigh.
the city is never quiet. but im getting used to it. i dont mind the fact that wherever i go i can hear noise pollution.
i enjoy being outside more then most things. im content to just sit outside in the cold listening to the city buzz.
|
|
|
[06 Jan 2007|09:31pm] |
if i could give you one piece of advice it would be...
you shouldnt take what you have for granted.
stop looking for the more or better. you wont find it. it dosnt exist.
apprciate the people who care about you.
don't hurt hearts!!! its just mean.
|
|
|
[02 Jan 2007|10:37pm] |
|
happy new year :D
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
xo_______d4nnii's journal